College and Career Ready | Transition from High School to College
77. How Your Words Impact Your Adolescents' Performance
Apr 23, 2024
Sonia Cacique
In today's episode we will be exploring the power of words in shaping adolescents' academic and overall performance, and how parents can positively influence their children's self-talk and behavior through affirmations and positivity.
A students' performance is linked to their self-reflection and today we will explore how you as a parent can positively influence your adolescent's academic and overall performance by using uplifting words and affirmations. We highlight the importance of retraining the brain through positive reinforcement.
In this module we will discuss:
Neuroscientific Research
Parental Influence
Positive Affirmations
Adolescents' Self-Worth
Adolescents' Identity
Interested in our Signature Self Discovery To Your Ideal Career Path with Group Coaching. DM the word 'waitlist' on LinkedIn, Instagram or via email at info@collegecareerready.org
🚀 I'll help you rediscover who you truly are, provide clarity towards your future and be your personalized coach with Multiple Service Package options. Your Coach Sonia is ready to help you!
In today's episode we will be exploring the power of words in shaping adolescents' academic and overall performance, and how parents can positively influence their children's self-talk and behavior through affirmations and positivity.
A students' performance is linked to their self-reflection and today we will explore how you as a parent can positively influence your adolescent's academic and overall performance by using uplifting words and affirmations. We highlight the importance of retraining the brain through positive reinforcement.
In this module we will discuss:
Neuroscientific Research
Parental Influence
Positive Affirmations
Adolescents' Self-Worth
Adolescents' Identity
Interested in our Signature Self Discovery To Your Ideal Career Path with Group Coaching. DM the word 'waitlist' on LinkedIn, Instagram or via email at info@collegecareerready.org
🚀 I'll help you rediscover who you truly are, provide clarity towards your future and be your personalized coach with Multiple Service Package options. Your Coach Sonia is ready to help you!
"Stay well, be present, and enjoy the journey"
Speaker 1:
Did you know that one's performance, even as an adult, is sometimes a self-reflection of how we see ourselves? The same is true for our adolescents. As a matter of fact, this is especially true for our adolescents. So today we will explore what the research is saying, how this applies to your adolescents, the effect it can make on their academic performance, and how we, as parents, have the power to change our child's behavior, academic and overall performance. So stay tuned.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to College and Career Ready, the only podcast that helps parents equip their adolescent as they transition from high school to college and college to their career. My name is Sonia Casique. I'm a former educator, certified school counselor, career coach and founder of Discover you. Together, we will redefine what it truly means to be college and career ready. I believe that you deserve all the tools and support necessary to open the doors to endless opportunities of success and, with our community, you don't have to do this alone. So come with me and let's get started. I hope, wherever you are listening to us from that you are. Well, my friend, I'm so glad you're here with me today. School is almost out, just a few weeks away, and crunch time for many high school and college students as they start preparing for finals. Today's episode might come in good timing to help your adolescent with performing their absolute best. But before we get started with today's topic, one of my goals for this year is to continue to build our college and career ready community. If you have not yet five-starred our show, dm me and let me know what I can do to earn that five-star rating review from you. And a special thanks to Life is Wonderful Love, who wrote one of my latest reviews. Sonia provides valuable insights and information to students and parents about the next journey called college. Topics include financial, mental health and experiences from others who have traveled the journey. Thank you so much to Life is Wonderful Love for providing that review. I hope I can earn your review as well, my friend, and when you do, take a screenshot and send it to me so I can personally thank you. I feel very deeply about today's topic. Students' mental health is always in the forefront of every interaction I have with students that I personally coach, and I firmly believe that part of helping students with mental health is reframing how they think of themselves.
Speaker 1:
Today we will discuss this topic and how you, as a parent, can positively affect your adolescent's performance, whether it's in an activity, schoolwork, academic work and sports, and their overall performance in general. Let me say this, my friend If you and I feel like a total failure, we will start to behave in that manner. If you see yourself as smart and intelligent, well, you'll start behaving in that manner, and that is especially true about your child. I have a mom friend who I admire tremendously and whose daughter was a guest on my podcast, and I remember her sharing with me that she didn't know if her now young adult children were always smart or if they just believed her when she would constantly uplift them with assertive, positive, affirmative words. We both laughed and then I stopped and she left me questioning the thought. Now, after having done the research, it is clear that this can very possibly be true.
Speaker 1:
There are plenty of books written by great human beings who seem to be a clear reflection of what their parents thought and said about them as they were growing up, and that's what we're going to be exploring today. And I'm going to start off with neuroscientific research. We now know that the brain is plastic, also referred as neuroplasticity, meaning it can adapt both physically and chemically, given the proper conditions. Cognitive neuroscientist, dr Caroline Leaf, in her book Switch on your Brain the Key to Peak Happiness, thinking and Healthy, said changing our minds enables our brains to change. We can actually change the structure of our brain by the thoughts we most consistently think. Let me repeat that one more time we can actually change the structure of our brain by the thoughts we most consistently think. That's very, very powerful, my friend, because this proves my friend's point that the more you hear it, whether it's from yourself or from others telling you, the more you will start reflecting in that manner and acting in that manner. Author Dr Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman wrote in their book Words Can Change your Brain.
Speaker 1:
A single word has the power to influence the expression of genes. Let me repeat that one more time A single word has the power to influence the expression of genes. Words such as peace and love can actually turn on stress-reducing genes. So what does this mean genes? So what does this mean? Words actually matter. Studies show that challenging negative thoughts effectively reduces stress, improves mood and decreases the risk of physical illness.
Speaker 1:
Can you imagine what an impact a parent can now make in a child's identity by just the simple words that we are using, the adjectives that we're using as we start describing scenarios and interactions that they have with us and that they have, whether it's at school, work, sports or their activities. So then, what should we do as parents to decrease our adolescent's negative self-talk? Well, there's a lot of things we can do, but one of the most important things is watch what we say to them. How many times do we stop scrolling on social media Facebook, instagram, twitter, tiktok, you name it and we just feel different about ourselves, absorbing everything we see and hear in the picture-perfect or video-perfect world out there, that we unconsciously start judging our own life and performance? Listen, it happens to me too, but as adults, we are more cognizant or hope we are more cognizant on how this is affecting us, but our adolescents don't. Their brain is not yet fully developed and it's hard for them to comprehend and understand this, so that is where they can unconsciously begin to negatively self-talk. So what does this mean? That how our adolescents think of themselves can actually reflect on their behavior.
Speaker 1:
Before I continue with this topic, let's take a small segment break. I'd like to share with you that I'm soon to release my signature digital course Self-Discovery to your Ideal Career Path with Group Coaching, if you are interested in helping your adolescent rediscover who they truly are and how they can gain clarity towards their career path. Then send me a DM with the word waitlist on Instagram, linkedin, by searching my name, or via email info at collegecareerreadyorg. This course includes four modules. The first one, understanding Yourself, where we dive into self-reflection exercises to understand their vision, purpose, skills and strengths. In the second module, what Inspires you, we will explore the sources of inspiration in their life, including their passions, interests and experiences. In the third module, researching Career Options, they will learn strategies for researching different career paths and industries. They'll explore various job roles, company cultures and career trajectories to gain insights to the opportunities out there. Plus, I will teach them the value of a LinkedIn profile. And in our last module, college Selection Goals and Action Plan, we will learn how to set smart goals based on their self-discovery journey. We'll create an action plan outlining the steps to pursue their ideal career path college selection, how to maximize their experience while in college, skill development and networking.
Speaker 1:
This is a four-week course with group coaching included, and it will be for an introductory special price at the time of this recording. Plus, your adolescent will have access to the course for a full year. It includes a parent and student workbook. So, parents, you will be an integral part of your adolescence self-discovery. If you're interested, send me a DM with the word waitlist on Instagram, linkedin or via email, and all of those things will be included in our show notes. So all you have to do is click and go. All right, my friend, and now back to our show.
Speaker 1:
So how can this affect our adolescence, academic or overall performance? Well, how would you feel if your boss criticizes your performance all the time? What if your boss constantly made you feel incompetent and was correcting you all the time? Stop and think for a second how that would make you feel. I bet it would make you feel pretty bad, wouldn't it? The same is true for our adolescents. Their thoughts equals their self-worth, and it is our duty as parents to counteract the negative effect of social media and, unfortunately, their own negative perception of themselves. What if you heard your boss constantly tell you I'm proud of you, sonia, regardless of the circumstances? Or that they told you you are amazing, you're talented, you're set up for success? That would definitely change our own perception of ourselves and it would eventually even change our core belief. So, as parents, this is an extra effort on our part, but it is totally worth it.
Speaker 1:
We will be helping them retrain their brain and, based on the research with neuroplasticity, their brain can be reshaped, reformed and changed, and we can do this very passively, my friend. We can reframe a situation for them as they encounter situations or they're sharing stories about their day or how it had gone at school. You can make an effort to use positive words and adjectives that describes them. Even in tough situations, you can speak words of affirmation, words of life, words to uplift them, adjectives such as audacious, victorious, determined, resilient, brave, bold all of those are amazing words that you can use when describing a situation. So, instead of saying I'm sure you could have done better, you could say, wow, you sure were very determined to do your absolute best and it definitely showed. Or when you're talking about their academic work, you can say something like man, I've seen so much growth in your performance at school.
Speaker 1:
Again, we're focusing on the positive effects of every situation because, of course, if we focus on the negative, it's going to cause them to immediately have negative self-talk about themselves, like I wasn't good enough, I could have done better, I could have, should have, would have. So, as parents, if we start using more uplifting adjectives that will help them redefine who they truly are. Be specific, especially when you're writing notes whether it's on a birthday card or just little sticky notes left around for them to read will help them remind them of how amazing they are, regardless of the situations. Again, be very specific, and you can use this skill when you are describing their academic performance, extracurricular activities, competitive events, sports and so many other opportunities. As parents, we have the power to change our own child's behavior, academic and overall performance. Remember to use positive adjectives to speak about their performance and as they're growing up, because eventually it will sink in and they will start believing you. It's hard for adolescents to reframe any situation, so, with your help, you are unconsciously programming their brain to start changing the way they see themselves, and this is what we are here for as parents to help motivate and encourage our child and encourage our child.
Speaker 1:
As I wrap up this episode, I want to encourage you to start jotting down or paying close attention to what you're saying to your adolescent. Make a journal and see how many adjectives are uplifting and how many can be a little more depressing. Even if we think we're saying something positively, we may have to stop and think how the information is being received and, when in doubt, ask them. Ask your adolescent. How did that make them feel? Trust me, you might be surprised. Remember, most of our adolescent's brains are still developing.
Speaker 1:
If you liked this episode, I highly recommend you listen to episode number 65 and 66, where I talk about building a better relationship with your growing teen and to help you communicate better and more effectively with them. I'll make sure to have the link in the show notes. All right, my sweet friend. That's it for today, and I want to end with this quote Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first, by Matthew Jacobson.
Speaker 1:
Until next week, my friends, stay well, be present and enjoy the journey. I'll talk to you soon. Thank you for listening in. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean so much to me. If you share it with a friend, a colleague or your own community. If you share it on social media and tag me, I'll make sure to me. If you share it with a friend, a colleague or your own community, if you share it on social media and tag me, I'll make sure to personally thank you. My two favorite places to hang out are Instagram and LinkedIn. Check out our show notes for a direct link. I'm so thankful for each and every one of you and, as always, stay well, be present and enjoy the journey. I'll talk to you next week. Adios.